Cause Drinking by Yourself is Half the Fun

consultingmoosecaptain:

dalekitsune:

the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu

See also:

Blood is thicker than water The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.

(via oreliel)

— 1 day ago with 624024 notes
#@simplybex 

fuckyeahsexanddrugs:

this is literally what happens when a young adult starts working full time

(Source: himynameistade, via peppermint-greentea)

— 1 day ago with 161077 notes

calm your shit barbie not everyone has white privilege like you do

(Source: rrraquelle, via pizza)

— 1 day ago with 673946 notes

THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST THING OF ALL THE SHOW 

(Source: twerkdirty, via peppermint-greentea)

— 1 day ago with 179965 notes

ineloquentformalities:

reallymadscientist:

twotommyolivers:

Some context: entering this season, no woman had completed a televised course in either Japanese or American Ninja Warriors. I’d also argue that ANW’s qualifying courses are harder than any Stage 1 course on either.

This woman is a fucking badass. First woman ever to advance!

I’m not crying your crying

she makes it look so effortless. 

(via oreliel)

— 1 day ago with 23121 notes

The phrase “old sport” is said 55 times during the movie; all but four of those times are delivered by Leonardo DiCaprio. Of the four not said by DiCaprio, two are delivered by Joel Edgerton, one by Steve Bisley and one by Callan McAuliffe. 

(Source: theworldofcinema, via josh-radnor)

— 1 day ago with 13759 notes

nosdrinker:

my english teacher accused me of plagiarizing an essay i wrote about my own life

(via subtle)

— 3 days ago with 379229 notes

"They don’t really touch. Women don’t shake hands with men. So the first time Darcy touches Elizabeth is when he helps her into the carriage. Which is a really beautiful moment because it’s the first skin on skin touch. I think today, we don’t think twice about that at all. I shake people’s hands, I give them a kiss, whatever. It’s interesting to think, if you don’t have that tactile nature, how important one touch can be" - Keira Knightley.

(Source: ilovna, via fuckyeahjaneites)

— 3 days ago with 584 notes

corinnestark:

sharipep:

Marge is such a great mom

She gets it. 

(Source: sandandglass, via peppermint-greentea)

— 3 days ago with 749544 notes

bekstek:

mintike:

IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”

oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:

image

image

cracks me up every time

(via georgiahah)

— 3 days ago with 366274 notes

stand-by-me:

Someone let me know when they find my jaw on the ground

(Source: thegaysticky, via thefuuuucomics)

— 3 days ago with 36067 notes

kaelahbee:

Jason Segel on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno | On meeting the president

there is not a single thing i dislike about this man.

(via stinsbatskyislegenmarried)

— 3 days ago with 90648 notes
thedreamer-themusicmaker:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I TRIED THIS IT WORKS I CANT DEAL RIGHT NOW OMG 10/10 SWEET JESUS THIS IS AMAZING

thedreamer-themusicmaker:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I TRIED THIS IT WORKS I CANT DEAL RIGHT NOW OMG 10/10 SWEET JESUS THIS IS AMAZING

(Source: sliceofbri, via peppermint-greentea)

— 3 days ago with 510946 notes

idreaminwords:

Raven’s mom knows what’s up

(Source: pack-mchale, via tigerpatronus)

— 3 days ago with 386054 notes